Friendzone

"There's no such thing as the friendzone. The only reason why you're lonely, is because you're fat and gay."

I've been friendzoned for many times, and recently, a reply of friendzone came from the girl I was interested in. It hurts a lot to hear this kind of "Let's be friends" from a girl after your confessing to her. The ironic thing is, from then on, you don't actually become friend with her anymore. To all single guys around the world; translation, it means, "I don't like you.", or "I have no interest in you as a guy."

The first quote of this post is taken from Friendzone Song on YouTube. It will probably make you feel better because you thought the reason why you've been friendzoned is because of what you said wrongly or something. Simply put, it is most likely because of your physique and attitude.

Imagine a guy who doesn't talk at all, and very handsome. Imagine again of another guy who is very cheerful but he isn't very handsome, but ain't that ugly as well. Who will the girl choose? Obviously the former - usually, girls don't choose the nice guys. Not because they don't know that these guys are not nice, but it is about the first impression which determines their minds. Disclaimer: This post is mainly focused for guys. For girls, you can also take a look at it but I won't guarantee a help in this post for you.

IMPRESSION

For you to get out of single status, you have to do transform in order to become coupled. There are various reasons why you remain as single, and I'll go through them pertaining to our impressions.

Firstly, you are not handsome. Let's face it, literally. (Please get the double entendre here.) Why do you think girls like handsome guys? Let me ask the guys this simple question: do you like pretty girls, or ugly girls? If you're going to say that you like ugly girls, don't lie. Humans' natural instinct on the first sight is to look at how pretty or handsome the person is respectively, for female and male. It is a question that has an apparent answer, and where do you belong to? Yes, you are most likely to be mediocre or ugly. However, there are many solutions to this point. I'll go through them thoroughly after the next two points.

Secondly, you are not fit. Same dichotomous question goes again: fit or fat? I'll choose the former, obviously, but some might choose latter because they think of the body shape and muscles. What I mean by fat here is those people who rarely exercise and are quite fat already. To change yourself, this will probably the easiest and the hardest one, because this can be done through efforts put in. At the same time, without any effort, this will never change and will be the worst obstacle in your life. There are some people who don't really care about their fatness. However, to me, this is quite important because you should give a good impression on girls, or to guys - if you're a girl or homosexual. (I'm not being partial here! Don't get me wrong!)

Last but not least, you are "gay". Colloquial meaning of gay basically means you're not masculine and you probably act like a girl. Or it can also mean immature - you might be very humorous to your friends as you pour a whole loads of sexual innuendo and bawdy jokes. Conversely, this may not give a very good impression on girls because they won't find any guy who's "desperate for girls" attractive. This is an easy aspect to alter because you just have to be matured and check when you're annoying or not.

Now, I'll number each aspect I've mentioned here for thorough solutions.

1) HANDSOMENESS

- If you think you look fine or other people call you handsome, you can skip this point.

I myself think that I'm not handsome, but a few people call me handsome, and they are my family. Family members have this tendency to care for their own ones because they're protective. It's like how you don't really want to say that your mom is ugly in front of others, even if that's the truth(!!!). In this case, you should try not to listen to others, and have an opinionated view upon yourself. Am I handsome or pretty? Critically think and judge if you're handsome or pretty. Then, let's improve on your face.

There are some spots on your face which can change, and they are your hair and skin. Your hair covers up at least one-third of your face, and changing your hairstyle will make you go through metamorphosis. (Of course, in a good way.) Google on what kind of hairstyle fits you the most. Next, choose some accessories to put on your face, maybe simple ones like spectacles. Spectacles really cover up your eyes and make you look smarter, unless you wear those grandpa doctor glasses that make you look like some idiot. (Sorry to all senior doctors! I was just kidding.) For girls, this can be done through make-up. Brush your teeth everyday so that your teeth will be white. Yellow teeth make your face look very ugly whenever you talk. Sprinkling dry lettuce powder on toothpaste helps a lot (even though I didn't try this method yet. Oh, so I have good teeth?). Clean yourself often and make yourself look neat to look better. That is how you change your externality for better impression.

There is a very easy solution called plastic surgery for this, but are you really that desperate for change? Think about it once again if your face is that ugly. If you think so, please consult a plastic surgery consultant so that you can get a better view over plastic surgery and your face.

2) FATNESS

Easy. Exercise regularly and have a very orderly lifestyle. Reason why you're getting fatter and fatter is because you're lazing around at house and you are doing work only. You need some time to cheer yourself up, and exercise is one good way to release stress as you apply more pressure on your body. Do not think that exercise is something that is boring, or something that doesn't fit you. That's basically because you aren't fit (that double entendre!) and you have this negative mindset that halts you from doing any vigorous activity. I was also a guy who didn't like exercises. However, as I look myself more on mirror, I see myself getting fatter and fatter. To make sure that I don't become a very fat person, I started exercising and now I'm trying to change my diet as well.

First things first, stop sleeping and wake up early. Do some things that make you feel like not doing right now. This includes like cleaning up of your house, going out of house to do an errand, or going to gym where you have this feeling of demoralisation. Do something that you don't really want to do as quick as possible, when it is something that you must do eventually. This will build a sense of responsibility and discipline in yourself that makes you have a routine. This is a first key step to make yourself healthy. Use Pomodoro technique whilst doing this.

Next, go for an exercise. Most of us have smartphone with us and this is very useful when it comes to fitness. Go for running and use Endomondo application. Go for 100 Push Ups application for your tricep and a little bit of your abs. Go for Caynax Abs Application for your six packs. There are so many applications on your smartphone which can help you along for your exercise. Something that you should never do is WhatsApp while exercising. I prefer to quiet myself down when exercising and focus only on it. This will be extremely important when it comes to consistent exercise which requires you to have a set plan.

Have some meals which make you feel full but high in protein, low in fats and mediocre in carbohydrate. This includes like chicken breast, fruits, vegetables and tofu. Avoid consuming snacks as they're very hard to stop eating, like potato chips and bubble tea. It is important to control your diet so that you can get a nice shape of your body. Search more online on foods and diets you should consider based on your weight. If you're too thin, having some fattening foods will help instead.

3) GAYNESS

Please take note that this is "gayness", not "gaiety". What you should be focusing on should be the latter because you should always be positive in your life. Girls don't like gays apparently, as gays like other gays or guys only. (unless you're bisexual!) For you to stop looking girly and be masculine, external physiques are very important, and I've covered them already. The most important one is your attitude and the way you speak.

Do not be influenced by others who are single as well and they seem to know everything. Girls really hate guys who are arrogant and senseless. Girls like smart guys for sure, compared to dumber ones. Smart might not mean academics, but I would like to highlight on your "sense". It is about knowing when you should shut up in front of a girl and sprinkling a few straps of humour for the better taste. Girls love guys who are funny, but hate those who insult them and make fun of others. Please be mindful of whatever you say to girls because they are fragile, just like you getting friendzoned and crying at the corner. You can check "How to Stop Being Annoying" if you are single. You have to be sensitive for others and be confident of what you're doing.

Remaining quiet might make you look attractive, but this will not last for very long. For people like me who can't keep mouth shut for very long (unless I'm friendzoned, for f*** sake). What I am trying to do is trying to be serious at times when you're supposed to be, and funny at times when you can tickle a girl without even touching her. This will make you look very attractive as girls will think that you are full of senses and smart. If your voice is very high-pitched, try speaking slower and in a clearer way (examples like, opening your mouth bigger when you're talking).

I have covered a lot of things how to get out of your single status, and you might not think it is helpful because some are what you already know. However, I would like to tell you that these obvious things are the model answers, literally. (Model! Do you get it? Model as in like good physique and all that... Yeah, I'll shut up.)

I've been friendzoned two days before the Valentine's Day and I've never been in a relationship before. Yet, reason why I can say so many things which can let me out of this single status is probably because I know what is going on, but I have not tried them out yet. And after that day when I got friendzoned, I started to realise how stupid I was, and be serious about all these. Word counts ran out! Thank you for reading. :)